A letter to the newly bereaved this Christmas

Dear you who has experienced a recent loss,
I know, the holidays are the hardest time of the year. I imagine that there are days now when you wish that Christmas could just be erased. Everywhere you look you, there is something that reminds you of your loved one. If the loss has just been a very recent one, everything seems bleak, and there appears to be no clarity for the road ahead.

I’m guessing that sadness visits more often these past few weeks, and so do the tears. Give in to it. Yes, you read that right. Sit with it. Let it speak to you, and then, let it go. There is no shame in tears. Feel all the feels, and then give yourself a break. Remembering is part of the mourning.

Solitude is a balm to the soul, but don’t isolate yourself from others the whole season.

Find a way to release the sadness, and creative ways to incorporate the memory of your loved one into the season. On days when you just want to be by yourself, read an uplifting book, write your loved one a letter and just pour your heart out. No editing, no judgment. Writing is always cathartic, and paper can hold anything, tears, most especially.

I want to reassure you that it won’t always be this way. Christmas won’t ever be the same that’s for sure. There will always be that empty seat at the table and in your heart. We will always miss them. That’s a given. But as the years roll by, life will expand in proportion to the love we will once again be willing to share with the world, our communities, and our families. Also, there are the memories and love that they left us with. One day, you will find the strength to rebuild, using those memories, and their love as a foundation to move forward.

In time, as you begin to heal, the sadness will dissipate. I promise you that won’t be as deeply felt as it is today. The Savior whose birth we celebrate this month reminds us that love always triumphs over death. A December will come when you can once again look at your tree, and remember with love, and perhaps even a smile. My friend, your joy will return.

Today, I pray for you, a quiet and meaningful Christmas. May the memories of your loved one comfort you, wrap you in love, and keep you warm this holiday season. We never forget them. They are always with us.

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